I’ve decided that I should stop the humiliation. Maybe there is no point hanging around. I should just let it go.
I’ve gone through the longest five months of my life guessing, anticipating and thinking what actually happened? Did I do or say something wrong? Five months of total silence. Not a single word. What lead to this? Was it my fault? Every single day I repeated and dissected the last conversation we had, hoping that I could figure out the answer. Every single day, for the last five months. On my drive to work, throughout my morning run, my drive back from work, before I go to bed – I still couldn’t figure it out.
He said that he needed a couple of months to figure things out. It’s been five months now. Nothing.
No answer is actually an answer isn’t it? I don’t know why do I take so long to figure that out. I’ve attempted to seek the truth from him these couple of days. Again, he shunned me off. Maybe its easier for him to just ignore me and not answer my text message since he is far away. I couldn’t face another humiliation if I were to call and he ask me to call some other time. I know he tend to do that.
I have no idea what I did at all that he decided that I should be ignored. I don’t know….what I know now is that whatever we had before must have not mean anything to him.
This has to stop. Time to pick myself up and dust myself off, like I always did.
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